this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
