I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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