Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
