mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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