he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
