pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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