tell your sister to shave her snatch
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
