he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
