I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
