How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
