I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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