I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
