i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
