Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
