You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
