omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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