So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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