RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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