my vag is so smooth its legendary
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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