Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
