you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
