I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
