I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
