I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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