they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
