The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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