You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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