I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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