You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize