So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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