i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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