But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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