I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
