They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
