yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
