I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
