He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
