It's Friday. Sex?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
