I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
