is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
