Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
