my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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