no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
