I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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