Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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