the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I have post one night stand depression
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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