I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
