A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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