I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
