Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
