He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
