Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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