I wish you could order shots online.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
