im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
