some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize