I think I died a long time ago.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
