You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it was like eating out sand paper
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
