i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize