i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
