You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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