Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
