no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
