Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
