at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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