She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize