he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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