I want to stick my p in your. b.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
