Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
