You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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