My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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