Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
