Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
