I accidentally burped into my bong.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
