Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
