Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
In other news, I just burned my penis
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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