he shaved USA in his pubs
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
